Ive been waiting a long time

for this moment to come,

im destined to put together this rhyme,

ive been wanting to say this,

my one single wish,

to have u in a bliss,

so please…

you are the one of a kind,

im here sharing a piece of my mind,

great friends are rather hard to find,

it seems to be a bad dream,

i saw the two faces of the little imp,

should i scream?

im all alone,

please, dont leave me here all on my own,

life changes a lot when especially you lose something/ someone important. it hits u hard, breaks u into pieces and left u there for all to bare. that is life, full of happiness but also full of shit. whichever and however u look at it. its been like that since ancient times, times of cleopatra and caesar and the likes.

well whatever, it still haunts me, everyday and everynight but it cant be undone. whats done is done and whats worse than one is none. friends we are but, no longer do we share the chemistry. this is just a tiny bit of what life and friends and the people around could do to us when u least expects it. im still hoping to reconcile. im still keeping that hope alive.

peace.

Never in my life had i found so much joy towards life. twenty two years of no direction. and nine months back, and everything fades to black. the anger, the anguish, the sadness, the disappointment. Never had i pretended to be a friend. Life throws you a curveball when u least expected it. And hell it does. I regretted a lot. I regretted even crying trying to save this friendship. My fault in life? trying making others shine like the sun, prefering to be in the shadow. Oblivious to the world, sincerity is obviously a sin. Definately not one to think, fickle minded and trying to soar high above the sky, poison ran thru my veins, clipping my wings and i crashed hard to the dirt below.

Think. Why was I there. Its fuckin coz i wanted to. I did not pretend that i care. Its becoz that i care that i was there. Why did i backtrack on my words. Ill be a villian if i told you no, and id lie to myself if i said yes. so fuck that.

I hate to reminise, but hell, seriously, do u even respect me? I prolly took you for granted, thinking ull be dere forever. especially after that vow. a vow that was broken. the promise shattered. Do u take me for granted? maybe you did. or maybe i wanted you to think like that. crooked minds? yea whatever. maybe im just too self centered. think too highly of myself.

Its me. Self centered. acting like a saint. blaming others in the process. hmm, why did i raise my voice then. becoz i tot u cld take it. coz i tot ure rude. coz ure my bestie and we are frank with each other. and partly of coz, u shouted at me everyday. i dunt like to disrespect girls. but that day, and the aftermath, is a self proclaim exception. Just for the record, im having problems at home as well. I thought i was helping. But then without knowing anything, headshot struck me. bang. dead as the world could be.

You. And stop saying its coz of him or watever. Not EVERYTHING IN LIFE involves him. NOT ESPECIALLY when its MY life. Do u ever piss me off? Hmm. yea, a couple of times, here and there, treated like dirt, do u notice that? nah of coz not. Ure younger than me, but hell ure definately like an elder sis to me. An elder sis for goodness sake. Why did this happened.. So many questions. So little answers. So little time to begin with.  Fuck assumptions. Assumptions cld be rite, cld be wrong. But when you assume things, we alwaes wanted it to be rite. Coz we fear the truth. Truth hurts. Ill admit, im fickle minded. But ill make a decision. We are better off separated for the time being. Problems onli arises when we are together. Besides, im shit anywae. Well, thanx for the nine months or so. i love it. I really believe well get back together and well be able to laugh at these matters in the future. But till that day, and if you really wants to be close friends again, ill gladly accpet you with open arms again, and in the process said welcome back. but.. don’tt hink itll be anytime soon.

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Two. two friendship gone in a matter of days. fuck the transit period. astrological my ass.