what IS the defination of love?

        Love is my mom and my dad married for 30plus years. Love is when I gave everything ive got without never asking anything in return. Love is when my dad hit the hell ut opf me tryingh to correct me. Love is fact nor fiction. Love is love. Love breaks all barriers. My friends are my family. THAT is LOVE. Love is when granpa and granny walking down the streetrs holding hands. Love is when u realise when theres no one to hold u tight, theres me. Love is when u make time to sacrifices. THAT IS LOVE.

its bullshyt la. im just there as a punching bag. doing so much but getting so little in return. my life, has alwaes been like that, being the nice guy, absorbing all the negative energies. i might explode but somehow, somehow i havent.

already im sinking into the quiksand, hands out, trying to struggle free. but to no avail, deeper into the blackness of the abyss. head spinning so wildly, i feel like a yo-yo doing the brain twister.

What have my life got entangled inbto this time. whats the grapevine of all this…..

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can’t replace
And now that I’m stronger I’ve figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I’ll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I’ll be the one

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you’re my, you’re my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don’t throw that away
Cuz I’m here for you
Please don’t walk away,
Please tell me you’ll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I’ll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

                                  >dont try to suck up to me after all that u fat bitch<

So, my 23rd birthday, is all but over. Things dosent seem to change, time still moves at a pace so fast it seems i couldnt hold my breath. Alot of things to do, alot of things to think about. I alwaes thought id die, my time would be up, when my life goes full circle. 01061984– the year i was born till 01062007– the present year. 23years of fuck life. Still being controlled by others, still being treated like dirt. Everyone and i mean EVERYONE.

My wish for my 23rd birthday includes–

1. a lil respect
2. celebrating with my best friend ( celeste)
3. have fun
4. to die

Yesternight life went a wee bit high as i lose control of myself, just for a moment life moves at my pace, the way i wanted it to be. Its a crackerjack. To die early means that i dont have to worry abouy this world anymore, i can rest in peace. But since nothing happens, guess ill still go all out to achieve what i want in this world.

Love. Thats something ive alwaes wanted, but something i couldnt get.

Success. Tryin hard, but from the results that ive been gettin, my drawing is far from the best. Ive got alot to catch up, its bearin on my toll. While the rest have been movin forward, me im stuck in the quicksand, sinking.

I dont need materialistic things.

To mom- love u alwaes, Dad, i dunt like u, but im tryin hard. Nuriyah, Nadhir, Firdaus- success dosent come easy, Dunt be like me and waste the oppurtunities that come ur way. Love u guys loads, even if i havent been the role model a brother should be. Celeste, im glad i decided to work at luge once again, thats where i found u, my best friend. Sharon, Ill keep on loving you even if u dunt show me any feelings.

Ive been thinking, after i get my diploma, Should i, should i not leave Singapore to further enhance my studies. Maybe not be taking arts, but more likely business studies. Its gonna be awhile more, but already thinkin about this is stressing me. For one, leaving my family. And more importantly my best friend, alwaes there when i need her. Drifting apart will be incorrigible.

>GUYS THANK YOU<

                                     my life is like a rubix cube…