random darkness
Just another random suicidesArchive for January, 2007
crash and burn
wel, ever since my PC down, ive been sleeping real early. Theres nuthing much to do. But fuck man, my important data inside! It’ll be hell if i lose them. My designs!! damn!! Why oh why does it have to crash now. ahhhh…. what the hell….
starless night
I reached into the sky
That was filled with colorful stars
and vanishing into the sky
are the thoughts that could’nt reach them
i’m alone
i had no place to go and
silently you held my hand
starless night
the shadow of the past won’t come back
all I wantto feel is your warmth
tears are falling down
even if Im lost, I wont’t let go
of your hand
REALITY CHECK
Im really really regretted my decision not to take my studies properly when i had teh chance. Now im feeling wasteful. Im pathetic to say the least. If only i had studied a lil bit more harder, if only i had been a more serious about my future. Things like these wouldn;t have to occur to me as it is happening rite now.
Tried applying for NAFA, but hell, my GPA is way too low of their expectations. I need at least a 3.5 but here i am with a 2.2… Thats like bad rite? Yea I thought so too. I have to appeal. I really want to get into NAFA. I have to write a formal letter stating my potential and why tehy should accept a bummer like me. Im at my wits end thinkin.
Where did everything goes wrong for me. When was it my luck ran out and bad luck starts pouring in, never-ending. Or maybe i should’nt be blaming luck. Maybe its just me. Nah, rite now, its definately me. I did’nt work hard. This is what i deserve. Had many chances but did’nt take any of them. Blew away everything. Thought that maybe if I could get into NAFA then i’ll be doing it seriously. BUt now, I don’t even have the slightest of chance to do that. Im pathetic. Im teh worst.
Sigh, Life is Hard at me at teh moment….
bestest of best friends
We are the best of friends rite? I really want to belive so.
I’ll forget about love so that my friendship with you does’nt end.
You have become a part of me.
Best friend’s forever.
Till the end of time.
Eternity.
ISSUE 01 VOLUME 01
IM ON THE COVER OF ARTZERO PRODARKTION PROJEKT!!
LOOK FOR IT IN ISSUE 01 Volume 01 !!
HAHAS, nah, was just playin. I made this as i was pretty much bored. Turned out nicely i guess. One more for my portfolio i guess.
Hate [I really don't like you] // Plain White T’s
Love, love, love, love, love, love
Woo!
You were everything I wanted
You were everything a girl could be
Then you left me broken hearted
Now you don’t mean a thing to me
All I wanted was your
Love, love, love, love, love, love
Hate is a strong word
But I really, really, really don’t like you
Now that it’s over
I don’t even know what I liked about you.
Brought you around
And you just brought me down
Hate is a strong word
But I really, really, really, really, really, don’t like you
I really, really, don’t like you
Thought that everything was perfect
Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
Thought you thought that I was worth it
Now I think a little differently
All I wanted was your
Love, love, love, love, love, love
Hate is a strong word
But I really, really, really don’t like you
Now that it’s over
I don’t even know what I liked about you
Brought you around
And you just brought me down
Hate is a strong word
But I really, really, really, really, dont like you
Now that it’s over
You can’t hurt me
Now that it’s over
You can’t bring me down
All I wanted was your
Love, love, love, love, love, love
Hate is a strong word
But I really, really, really don’t like you
Now that it’s over
I don’t even know what I liked about you
Brought you around
And you just brought me down
Hate is a strong word
But I really, really, really, really, dont like you
I really really don’t like you
I really really don’t like you
I really really don’t like you
were
I see your smile
I know your mind
No words need be said
I understand.
Focused on each other
We listen and we care
Laughter ripples like water
Together, we are.
Others are here, yes,
And we value them, yes,
But a special bond remains,
A line between us two.
Each friendship is special
Each is unique
And so is ours
We know.
And then time begins to roll
and rear it’s ugly head
Change begins
Now a little less than before.
Slowly, surely,
Not knowing why
Faster, stronger, without care
Our world shifts and shimmers and splits.
Shattered shards cascade down
Spurred by angry, lashing words
Contorted faces, stone deaf ears
Outside the whirlwind,
We die inside.
The scars run deep
Jagged clefts in our souls
We have suceeded in hurting
And hurt ourselves.
So you move on
And I remain
We keep on living
Turn our faces apart.
Now I glance across
At you from outside
Shaded eyes dry with tears
New friends, new life.
Laughter, smiling (clenched teeth)
The flippant toss of the head
The enclosure surrounds you
I cannot come near.
From behind my glass window
I know more than those within
I see the hurt in your eyes
I know the pain in your smile
I have been there before – I love you
Why do you pretend?
I hate to see your pain
And I cry inside
Tears deep within my soul
I cannot help you anymore.
What we had once
We can never have again.
The scars run deep,
But I still care.
You were my friend.
leaving without goodbye
What are we fighting over?
I simply do not know.
You have me lost in thoughts,
I’m tossing to and fro.
Soon you will be gone,
And you’ll blame this all on me.
What can I say or do,
So the mistake we both can see.
Why did you pick this fight,
With me before you go?
I’m all alone and lost,
But of this you do not know.
If you don’t say goodbye,
Before you turn and leave.
What am I supposed to do,
Except to cry and grieve?!
I thought our friendship was special,
I thought it meant a lot.
If you felt the same way,
Why are we stuck in this knot?
I don’t like good-byes,
But in this we have no choice.
If you won’t speak to me,
the good-bye’s will come from MY voice.
We’ve managed through other fights,
But this one’s not the same.
I’m not having any fun,
And I won’t to stop this game.
I’m not good at sorries,
So I’ll do my best with this.
I have one last request,
It is my goodbye wish.
for my broken friend
You pretend to be my friend,
When really you hate me in your heart,
Will the sadness ever end,
Or will it continue to tear me apart?
What did I do to deserve this?
Its not the friendship,
But you as a friend I will miss.
Please tell me what I did wrong,
So I could try to make it right.
I don’t want to lose our friendship,
I want to no longer fight.
At first I was sad,
Then I was mad.
Cause I finally realize that our friendship was never true.
But still when to our friendship you said, Goodbye.
A part of me left and died.
It still hurts not to be able to call you a friend,
But I guess every friendship has to end.
It is sad how our friendship ended to fight way,
And goodbye I never got to say.
