Im a fuckin good liar. And scary thing is, i knew it all too well. But ust now, I lied witout any context coz somehow my image conseous kick in. And well yea, regretted what i said somewhat. I should’nt been there. I know after years and years of researching and makin mental notes on human behaviour and lies and relationships that im just an average regular dude.

It’s sad really. I feel liek an extra. I feel like im drifting away, away from someone, away from her. Maybe its fated to be this wat, I don’t know. Maybe I should give up. I don’t know. My life seems to be entangled in a web full of spastic shits and emo fucks. Thinkin about this makes my head spins. Headache and migraine and resides too. Is this just another chapter, another phase of my troubled life? A life ive locked deep within the realms of darkness that punctured right through my black heart. Im tearin apart. What have I become. A freak you could say. Fading to nothingness and no one would even give a damn shit about it. Im pretty sure of that.

Where’s the special one, right at a time when i needed her most. When I desperately needed. I’ve changed. For better or worse, only time will tell.

Im just a worthless piece of shit that dosent even worth any good cents, not to my dad, not to my family. Thats what they said anyway. Sad? Thats only the tip of the iceberg. Im just ahere so that I could live their unfullfilled life which Im failing miserably. Im hurt right inside inspite of the care and concern of someone important to me. Im brainless. Im stupid. Even with a good heart, its totally pointless when peeps dosent notice it. Its not worth being nice to people.

Soon the year will end. 2006 will be over. Wasted yet another year of my pathetic life. Im practically a living waste. Let it be. Let it be. Does it really matter weather im dead or alive? Im invinsible anyway. An existance that feels like its been erased. This about time I think this through. 2007. Will it be yet another fucking year?

Fuck all of you. Im not a dirt. Dont fucking treat me like one. Dont fake with me. Coz Im not ur fucking fake friend. Stop trying to fake me. Coz I can feel it. Stop makin fake promises. If you can’t fucking keep the promise, don’t fucking make one. Somewhat, somehow.

Fuck friendship. Fuck family.

Resolution for 2007? To fulifill all of your fucking wishes. To vanish and disappear.