Im a fuckin good liar. And scary thing is, i knew it all too well. But ust now, I lied witout any context coz somehow my image conseous kick in. And well yea, regretted what i said somewhat. I should’nt been there. I know after years and years of researching and makin mental notes on human behaviour and lies and relationships that im just an average regular dude.

It’s sad really. I feel liek an extra. I feel like im drifting away, away from someone, away from her. Maybe its fated to be this wat, I don’t know. Maybe I should give up. I don’t know. My life seems to be entangled in a web full of spastic shits and emo fucks. Thinkin about this makes my head spins. Headache and migraine and resides too. Is this just another chapter, another phase of my troubled life? A life ive locked deep within the realms of darkness that punctured right through my black heart. Im tearin apart. What have I become. A freak you could say. Fading to nothingness and no one would even give a damn shit about it. Im pretty sure of that.

Where’s the special one, right at a time when i needed her most. When I desperately needed. I’ve changed. For better or worse, only time will tell.

Im just a worthless piece of shit that dosent even worth any good cents, not to my dad, not to my family. Thats what they said anyway. Sad? Thats only the tip of the iceberg. Im just ahere so that I could live their unfullfilled life which Im failing miserably. Im hurt right inside inspite of the care and concern of someone important to me. Im brainless. Im stupid. Even with a good heart, its totally pointless when peeps dosent notice it. Its not worth being nice to people.

Soon the year will end. 2006 will be over. Wasted yet another year of my pathetic life. Im practically a living waste. Let it be. Let it be. Does it really matter weather im dead or alive? Im invinsible anyway. An existance that feels like its been erased. This about time I think this through. 2007. Will it be yet another fucking year?

Fuck all of you. Im not a dirt. Dont fucking treat me like one. Dont fake with me. Coz Im not ur fucking fake friend. Stop trying to fake me. Coz I can feel it. Stop makin fake promises. If you can’t fucking keep the promise, don’t fucking make one. Somewhat, somehow.

Fuck friendship. Fuck family.

Resolution for 2007? To fulifill all of your fucking wishes. To vanish and disappear.

My blog stats finally reached 3K+. How amazing is that.

Bang bang there goes my head
to nothingness i fade
nuthing much could be said
just a worthless piece of shit.

Bang bang there goes my heart
right from teh start
we were alwaes apart
sigh, fuck that art

Bang bang there goes the memories
you and i , our promise
i cant hold on to you
i cant give u a kiss

Bang bang there goes my head
there goes my heart

there goes my memories

im devastated
im left brokenhearted
coz ure everything
that i wanted
but it is not to be
it seems to be well worth it
but now i think a lil differently
the love probably was one sided
theres nuthin i could do
but to hide it.
theres alot of things i wanna tell you
like i love you
like i miss you
but i lack the courage to do it
why is it have to be liek this
why is it taht i cant be pleased
why cant i show u i love u
why cant i give u a kiss.
What if she doesn’t like me
what if I’m not her type
What if all the girls that ever like me
Are not the kind of girls that I like
What if I meet the right one and screw it up
Will I consider myself a failure
will I give up
when did i start
tearin us apart
trying hard
to give way for my heart
i feel like a lost cause
i cant hold on,
feels liek makin a long pause
im breaking the bond,
coz rite now,
i hate you,
i despise you,
i loathe you,
but i want you,
I need you,
I miss you,
I love you.

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I just realised I’ve wasted more than half of my life away by sleeping. Let’s see. Sleeping during teh day, naps and all. Waking up pretty late. Can’t really do much at nite. Friends went to sleep and all. So see? Dead boring now that I think about it. Gee. What a fuck man I’ve been.

I’ve got a secret. I’m not telling you. Nope. Not even you.

=][=

I think relationships are stupid. Its practically dumb if you seriously think about it. There’s only trouble however and wherever u go to. IF and its a really big IF, I could ever find a girl who loves me as much as I love her, well that would be the greatest. Don’t think it’ll happened any time soon though.  Staying single I  s’pose.

hi.

bye.

sorry. too tired. 

Finally. I’ve made my own blog header. Been quite a while since i last created one. Yea.