Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It’s Triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: Your Son is dating someone new.
Bad: It’s another man.
Ugly: He’s your best friend.

Good: Your wife’s not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She’s a lawyer.

Good: The postman’s early.
Bad: He’s wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You’re IN them.

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He’s involved with the Woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrows them.

Good: Your husband understand fashion.
Bad: He’s a cross dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

Good: Your daughter gets a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
WAY UGLY: She makes more money than you do.