random darkness
Just another random suicidesArchive for May, 2006
the irony.
born on the first of june 1984. my birthday's comin up.actually its tomorrow. seriously im not excited by it. i mean. it'll be juz another regular day to me. never celebrated my birthday before. why should i? im gonna be 22. urgh. im getting old.
funny.coz when im younger i alwaes wanted to be older.and fast. like when i was 16. i wanted to be 18. coz theres much more freedom then. at least thats what i think so. then when i turned 18, i wanted to be 21. coz 21 is the age where u got to unlock everything. but now. i seriously wished time stopped when i was 16. i wanted to be young again.sigh. id trade all those freedom and keys to be young again. feel so old. the irony of times.
well at least people are commenting that i dunt look my age. i look younger actually. so thats a relief. phew.
angst ridden.
time wasnt flying today. in fact it seems more like its crawling. and its crawling with such an amazingly slow pace as well. freakin hot too by the way. but what do u care.oh wait. this blog isnt really for u. its more for me. angst inside me is just starting to explode. i can feel it gushing out soon. ill go say sorry.
motion city soundtrack // better open the door.
You better open the door before I take a hammer to the walls around it. I cannot let you inside my cell for fear I'll sink the ship and drag us both down.
Our hell ends every weekend But it's all I have to believe in.[x2]
Matt makes his murderous demand: foreign films. I take a stand and it's all uphill from here (at least I hope so). Kate claims she can't depend on me for anything and I agree It's crystal clear. I reach for the bottle and disappear.
Our hell ends every weekend But it's all I have to believe in. [x2]
Frank fails to see the humor in my sad attempts at breakdancing in every bar along Lyndale Avenue. Liz likes to liquor up my thoughts from the C.C. Club to the Triple Rock There's no escape from the chorus of people screaming: You better open the door before I take a hammer to the walls around it. I cannot let you inside my cell for fear I'll sink the ship and drag us both down.
Our hell ends every weekend But it's all I have to believe in. [x2]
I'll swim backwards [x6].
I'll swim alone the long goodbye. You better open the door before I take a hammer to the walls around it. I cannot let you inside my cell for fear i'll sink the ship and drag us both down.
hatreds.
there are'nt that many things in life that makes me happy. these are the things i hate.
- bossy people.
- selfish fuckers.
- ah bengs.
- mats.
- minahs.
- caucasion kids.freakin irritating.
- people who lies without substance. lying is an art form.
- those who think they are above than others.
- brag fucks.
- those who made fun of others.
- violence.
- abusive power.
- troblesome people.
- the angst inside me which is waiting to explode any moment.
- those who don't let me live my life the way i wanted it to be.
sick.
skipped work.feeling rather sickly lately. but thats not the reason i skipped work. in reality was feeling wayyyy to sleepy to get up. so decided to give em a call and told them i was on mc. oh well. just a part timer anywae. no biggie. well think ill go back to work tomorrow. definately needs the money. specs juz broke again for the umpteenth time. birthday comin up. im not sure how to celebrate it. oh wait. never celebrated my birthday before. won't be any different this year. oh well. watever.
bro becoming an irritant.
friggin irritated by my bro nowadays. hes becoming a complete idiot. wasting away his life. comin home late everyday isnt really an issue to me. but the thing is he picks up smoking from his friends. and belive me. i hate smokers. seriously give me my rifle and ill show u how i got my markmanship badge. im also irritated at his attitude towards school. he's in TP now, but hes not attending classes. or rather his attendances isnt being marked coz he's late.fuck. at this rate hell get debarred from exams. the brightest thing amongst the family is turning into shit with the friends he chose. and if i ever get a hand on the people that ruins my bro. ill make sure i kill em.
be prepared. fuckers.
the juliana theory // you always say goodnight, goodnight.
Did you really think that it was over when you hung up the phone and said goodnight? And did you ever think that it would be too much? I can't leave without saying goodbye. So did you really think that you could take it? Could you make it alone tonight? I never could have hoped for anything more. Be my angel if you can, alright. You always say goodnight, and you always say goodnight. So baby did you sleep an hour for me? How I wish I was there right now. I wasn't going to tell you I could change things. I'm afraid I never will know how. But I don't really think that I can take it. Will I make it alone somehow? So hold me in your arms before I leave you. I'll be back as soon as time allows. You always say goodnight, and you always say goodnight. Goodnight.
feeling fuck.
i feel like fuck. end of story. just realised somethin. and i realised im not good dealing with it. so i feel like fuck.
dumbfucks.
i definately hate bossy people. just because ure so-called-good dosent mean u cld scold others who definately dosent have the interest to play the game. ure just frustrated u didnt get the "good" people. that guy must've felt like shit. if u were gonna treat him bad. then might as well don't invite him to play.gee. such dumbass fuck. its a game supposed to be fun. ure too over competitive. juz die next time aight.
i wanna learn the drums.somebody out there?
