shd i hate my mum for not leting me retake my “O”s again..?sigh.. actually the one i really hate rite now is myself.y myself? coz i pretty much did myself in.from rags to riches to disgraceful.. was a crybaby in pri skool.. all the wae to pri six. i alwaes cried.. bleah.. hate that. but i actaully did quite well back then.. all the teachers dosent belive taht i cld actually pull it off but i did. and i went to an express stream.. if i had followed my choice of skool, i would have went to Temasek sec.but coz she dosent belive in me i had to change the choice of skool and i chose siglap as a ferst choice. well anywae i did quite ok in sec one.. onli wen in sec 2 that problems started to occur..did badly for exams.. and sex 3 i managed just 3 credits and i guess i was lucky to even get 3 credits.and taht w\helped me to sec 4 of wich i did exteremly badly for my o levels.. went to ite and still doing badly.. sigh.. now i cant even wen tback to skool.. fraom nothingness to something and back again to nothingness..

blardy hell.. its so difficult to live without the trusted cellphone.. line got cut off.. cheh.. can onli receive cals and smses.. sigh. wat to do.. havent been paying my bills lately.. for like what, 4 months plus plus..?? haha.. oh well.. ill pay em soon enuf.. till then just wait. waitt ill i get a job wich isnt anytime soon.. lol.. bleh..

went for the airport firefighter interview. and gues what..? its filled with all the baddest badasses u could find. hmm.. and they are mostly malays too.. hmm.. i wonder why they chose firefighting.. issit really fun..?? and the hoses seem heavy.. but if it was me i would not have any problems carrying it. i mean like all those sand bombs training during army really helped my endurance level. and im freakin annoyed when people underestimate me coz of my weight. yea im light but so what. i could pack a punch. and besides, im a no. 1 law. and fuckin proud of it. and now no. 1 law dosent carry the “LAW” anymore but the matador. its bigger and heavier than anything. hmm… but its fun shooting it though.. ka-boom!! applied for cisco as well.. sigh.. what am i doing.. mummy looks like shell cry if i didnt went for the interview.and id feel bad if ever she cried.. sighed again..

shucks. even ite rejected me. guess il have to retake my o levels for the umpteenth time.. but i nd money.. and freakin daddy says that itll be a waste of time coz ill just fail again. why is it that i feel that no ones trusting me? feels so.. and mom wants me to work at CAAS as a customer emergerny officer or something like that.. interviews tomorrow. oh well. il just make her happy. sigh.. everyones like ordering me around even after army. whats up with that.. that aint rite aint rite at all.. and so i sigh.

awww.. shucks.. i didnt get in to ite at all. bummer.. now what am i supposed to do for the yr..? i didnt get into poly.. i didnt get into ite.. now what..??? this is freakin freaky. geez.. i have to appeal. i mean i HAVE to get in to a school. i dunt have much time left. ill be retarded if i didnt study. my brain will stop werking. just the though tof that makes me irks… pls people of the werld.. let me into a school. 21 yrs and all i have to show is an o level cert with 2 credits? nott he kind id be proud of.. so i have to at least get into ite. bummer.. what now..??? questions questions.. just keep on lingering.unanswered. i know ill do well this time around. being in the army changes everything. there are gd things and there are bad things. the bad part was it completely destroyed my life. but the gd part is that it makes me think. now i have to study. i realise the importance of that now. freak-tarded…